In lieu of the mighty disappointing realization that we\u2019re never getting <\/em>Geostorm 2: Lightning Does Indeed Strike Twice, we\u2019ll have to settle for a different Gerard Butler-vehicle sequel, <\/em>Greenland 2: Migration (now streaming on HBO Max<\/a>, in addition to VOD platforms like Amazon Prime Video<\/a>). Its predecessor <\/em>Greenland<\/a> arrived to brighten the darker days of the Covid-19 pandemic with a comet-slams-into-Earth apocalyptic action saga that was far better than it probably needed to be, and was a surprise commercial success during its limited theatrical run and simultaneous VOD release. Thus, this follow-up, which hasn\u2019t found much traction with audiences yet, likely because word got out that it reiterates much of what happened in the first movie with about 40-to-60 percent of the impact.<\/em><\/p>\n The Gist:<\/strong> QUICK RECAP: Greenland<\/em> found John Garrity (Butler) chosen to be among a select few survivors of comet armageddon due to his engineering expertise. So he tucked his wife and diabetic son under his arms like footballs and made his way to the title country to live in a bunker with other people who theoretically could rebuild society, thus inspiring my conspiracy theory that Donald Trump watched the film and thought it was a great idea to put a survival facility there so he has a place to live after humanity rips itself apart, and that\u2019s why he so badly wants the U.S. to acquire Greenland. BUT: I digress. Five years have passed since the events of the first movie. Most of the planet is a ravaged wasteland. The Eiffel Tower is snapped in half, the English Channel is dry and looks like the Moon, radiation storms pop up like whack-a-moles. The air is toxic in most areas, and in the safe-ish place where people live on the surface, madness and civil unrest reign.<\/p>\n We catch up with John as he wears a radiation suit to scavenge for whatever he can find outside the bunker. Inside an abandoned battleship, he finds a wrench and whoops like a slot machine just jackpotted all over his lap. He also just wants what anyone in a post-apocalypse wants, a decent cup of coffee of course, and has another cliche in his pocket, a Movie Cough, which, as we all know, is a harbinger of doom. Dooooooommmmm.<\/em> But set that aside for a sec as we get into the tense cooped-upedness of the folks inside the bunker; it\u2019s understandable since they\u2019ve been crammed into bunkrooms and smelling each other\u2019s farts for half a decade. John\u2019s wife Allison (Morena Baccarin) is on the leadership braintrust panel and their teen son Nathan (Roman Griffin Davis, replacing Roger Dale Floyd) goes to school and yearns to see the constellations someday. Careful what you wish for, dude.<\/p>\n Nathan seems to catch the eye of a cute female classmate and Allison argues to help some refugees despite dwindling resources and John uses the wrench to fix the water filtration system but forget about all that because an earthquake hits and quickly turns the bunker into a gravel pit. Panic. Pandemonium. Because they\u2019re the protagonists and the star is one of the movie\u2019s producers and has a Cough destined to give him a tragic arc that must conclude during the film\u2019s final act, John, Allison and Nathan make it outta there just in the nick, and decide their best option is to find their way to France where the OG comet crater is rumored to be an Edenesque oasis with clean water and air that doesn\u2019t give you a Cough. That\u2019s as good an idea as any, I guess. But this world is increasingly armed with naturally occurring things that want to kill them, and the occasional person who could be nice or could be mean but you can\u2019t tell until you get up close. And at this point, one can\u2019t help but wonder if these poor movie protagonists haven\u2019t been through enough already, but the answer to that is, obviously, no, no they haven\u2019t.<\/p>\n What Movies Will It Remind You Of?<\/strong> Like the first Greenland<\/em>, I\u2019m left with the impression that Steven Spielberg\u2019s 2004 War of the Worlds<\/em><\/a> set the modern visual template for this type of ground-level POV disaster filmmaking. Greenland 2<\/em> also cribs a move or two from Children of Men<\/a><\/em>, The Road<\/em>, Mad Max: Fury Road<\/a><\/em> and the non-monster parts of the Quiet Place<\/em> movies.<\/p>\n Performance Worth Watching:<\/strong> Is Butler the new January Man, cough-coug<\/em>hing up a new genre exercise every dead-of-winter? He may have found his late-ish career niche.<\/p>\n Sex And Skin:<\/strong> Nada. But just wait<\/em> til we get to Greenland 3: The Repopulation<\/em>!<\/p>\n Our Take:<\/strong> Cough cough. <\/em>Gerard Butler has cough<\/em> endured so many of these cough cough cough<\/em> things by now, by now he surely can cough cough <\/em>grit his teeth and insist he\u2019s fine, it\u2019s just a little blood, in his sleep. Compare that to Baccarin\u2019s I\u2019m-not-so-sure-about-this-but-I\u2019m-getting-paid, performance, where she minimally guts out moments of wrinkled-brow concern whether she\u2019s worried about the health of her husband or nearly plummeting to her death in a crevasse. Some are just more committed to professionally executing cough cough<\/em> warmed-over dreck than others.\u00a0<\/p>\n Where the first Greenland<\/em> was surprisingly engaging for being a middle-of-the-road Butler-vehicle action-drama, the sequel seems content to coast on the emotional fumes from the first movie as it throws One Damn Thing After Another at our hero and his family: Earthquakes, tsunamis, meteor showers, war zones, really tall gorges, lightning storms, sharknadoes, zombielanches, acidic tropical punch floods, etc. The plot plays like a checklist interspersed with moments of respite in which people give Butler and co. a kindly assist, blissfully unaware that they\u2019re allowing into their stead the protagonists of an apocalyptic-survival disaster movie and therefore opening the door to calamity. Side and bit-part characters never fare particularly well in these things, do they?\u00a0<\/p>\n Getting through Greenland 2<\/em> involves enduring some grim, cruddy dialogue \u2013 ranging from sober declarations about what used to be (\u201cIs that the English Channel?\u201d \u201cIt was<\/em>\u201d), the perennial action-movie exhortation \u201cGo go go!\u201d or the moment where the movie reviews itself, \u201cYou\u2019ve gotta be kidding me\u201d \u2013 as it works through a plot that feints at a human emotion or conflict, obliterates it with an action set piece, then repeats this two-step cycle about eight times. Meanwhile, we\u2019re distracted by big thoughts about where and when the characters get enough gas for their vehicles, or how bad it smells inside a dozen-capacity lifeboat that may or may not have a toilet.\u00a0<\/p>\n Give the movie this much: It\u2019s tonally consistent in its overwrought melodramatic earnestness. The action set pieces are somewhat ambitious in their breadth despite offering nothing new to the genre whatsoever. The title hints at the miseries of refugees in real life, even if it lacks the chutzpah to say much about it. And the story moves with enough urgency to keep one modestly engaged. Modestly engaged until we realize Greenland 2<\/em> has pretty much treated us like a mouse in a maze privy to every whim of the VFX crew, and our reward is a big hunk of cheese at the end.<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSign up for our weekly What to Watch This Weekend newsletter for reviews, recommendations, and more!\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n Our Call:<\/strong> Greenland 2<\/em> is just greenbland. SKIP IT.<\/p>\n John Serba is a freelance film critic from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Werner Herzog hugged him once.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCan\u2019t decide what to watch? We\u2019re here to help!\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n
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